OWL-ternative Online Sources, Part 2

While exploring the often-frightening depths of the internet for other interesting online writing resources, I stumbled across what might possibly be the most bland, generic name for a writing lab that one could possibly conceive:

Guide to Grammar and Writing

While its name certainly won't be winning any creativity awards, the core of this website is pure gold.  It has three drop-down menus that each deal with a different aspect of the writing process (such as sentence-level, paragraph-level, and essay-level) and three others for miscellaneous resources -- PowerPoints, Grammar Quizzes, and the like.

But the thing that sold me was the index.

Being the giant nerd that I am, I frequently find myself digging through rulebooks for various roleplaying and tabletop games.  Few things make me sadder than a poor index ... or the lack of one at all.  The index is alphabetized, which makes it easy enough to find what you're looking for, but what really makes it shine is the simple fact that it's on a computer.

Which means I can use Control+F.

If that keyboard shortcut was a person, he (or she) would be one of my best friends.  We'd go to picnics in the park, take long walks on the beach, and sing "Kumbaya" into the early hours of the morning.  Seriously, though, the ability to pull up a digital index and immediately locate whatever particular issue that haunts you is pretty awesome.  And yes, I'm aware that many writing labs have a built-in search feature, but rarely are all the resources compiled together in one convenient location.  It's also nice to see the other categories as you snag the particular one that's giving you trouble.

Now, with all that said, it's important to check the quality of the information.  And while you'll need to get past some cutesy fonts and its propensity to bold, italicize, underline, and color-swap constantly, it's definitely worth the effort.  It's a book that you definitely don't want to judge by it's initial cover.  The information is presented concisely and simply, but it's never intelligence insulting.

While the OWL certainly has a lot of good information on grammar, the Super Duper Zany Grammar-Palooza (as I'm renaming it, starting now) goes into an incredible amount of depth with a mind-boggling number of topics.  (NOTE: Apparently, my mind is not that difficult to boggle.  The exact number of entries is 427.  I'd have hoped that my brain-boggle threshold would have at least been in the thousands ... C'est la vie.)  It has entire entries on the difference between "few and a few," when to use slashes (also called a virgule, as I learned today), "which versus that," and many other topics.

The variety of topics covered and the detail given to each of them make The Super Duper Zany Grammar Funhouse of Doom worth a visit, at the very least.  Once again, I'm not claiming that this website should overrun the OWL with flaming pitchforks and bloody axes, but it's definitely a nice alternative if you have specific topics you're looking to explore in depth.

OWL-ternative Online Sources: HyperGrammar (University of Ottawa)

Yes, that's an abomination of a pun.  But it was the best I could come up with in the absence of a portable Doug.  He rocks those titles.

Anyway, all fowl puns aside (sorry, couldn't help myself), I thought it might be interesting to explore some quality online resources outside of the comfortable realms of Purdue's OWL.  Sure, the OWL is a fantastic resource, but variety is the spice of life.  It's time to broaden our online horizons.

In all seriousness, it can't hurt to have a few more resources under your belt.  Different people are going to react differently to the various layouts and approaches.  In some instances, these alternative sources might even be better for you.  Blasphemy, right?  I know, I know.  Set down your jagged rocks.  Put out ye flaming torches.  Toss aside your sharpened pitchforks.

The first newcomer hails from the University of Ottawa.  Their Writing Centre (yes, they use the fancy spelling) has a segment called HyperGrammar, which is actually pretty neat.  Now, before you go traipsing off to that website and return in a huff, let me preface this introduction by admitting it focuses more on the basics of writing than much of what you'll find on the OWL.

But that's not necessarily a bad thing.

HyperGrammer is actually presented in a way that resembles an online classroom.  There's a nice navigation bar on the left-hand side that allows you to either progress through the numerous subject they offer or hunt down the one that's giving you the most trouble.  Honestly, I think it can be incredibly helpful even for advanced writers to occasionally return to the basics.  I know when I'm in the Writing Center, struggling to explain something that I learned half a dozen years ago, having a place of reference makes the task a whole lot easier.

Additionally, nearly all the explanations include hyper-links embedded into the actual explanatory text.  Forget the difference between a correlative and coordinating conjunction while reading up on strategies for combining sentences?  No problem -- click on the phrase and it'll take you straight to the matching page.

Whether you're a veteran writer looking for a refresher or a frustrated freshman trying to sift through gerunds and appositives, HyperGrammar is at least worth a looksie.

For those of you who want to check it out, the link is below:

http://www.writingcentre.uottawa.ca/hypergrammar/grammar.html

(Well, you could also click on the linked "HyperGrammar" up where it's first mentioned, but I felt like pasting a URL.  It was cathartic.  Don't ask me why.)

Catastrophic Apostrophes

Apostrophes have always been a funny punctuation mark to me. There are a few ways you can look at them; in one sense, they look like floating commas. On the other hand, they're like a single quotation mark or half a regular quotation.

They don't really function like any of the above, however. There are two primary uses for apostrophes:

1. To make a contraction
2. To make a noun possessive

Seems simple, no? It is, for the most part. Let's take a look:

The book of Steve sits on the coffee table.

Sounds like a book of the Bible, I imagine. But unfortunately, Steve is no prophet. He also didn't write the book, but instead just owns it. This "book of Steve" just sits on his coffee table in an open spot so all can see how smart Steve is and see him for the intellectual that he wants to be--I mean, is. But enough about Steve. Let's talk about his book.

Not only does saying "book of Steve" make it sound highly revered, it's also wordy as heck. Let's make it less wordy:

Steve's book sits on the coffee table.

Wow. Cuts down on the words, doesn't it? Also makes it a bit clear as to what the nature of the book is. This isn't the divine word of Steve, but just a book he owns, a very thick book that makes him look like he's a smarty. But what about the contractions?

I do not believe in the word of Steve.

Sounds very formal, doesn't it? But maybe we're talking with our best bro Jake who doesn't much care for high-and-mighty language. Let's shave it down for him.

I don't believe in the word of Steve.

Makes it only slightly less wordy, but definitely feels more conversational and less stiff. Then again, Jake might word it like this:

I ain't a believer in the word of Steve.

But there's a trap with all this business: it. What do we do with it? The contraction of it and is is simple enough: it's. But we can't do that with the possessive form. As far as I can tell, the reason for making the possessive form of it lack an apostrophe is just to minimize the confusion. I can see where it might occur.

Its unlikely that Steve will ever see this post. Its web address is rarely typed on his computer.

It is one of those rare words that can so often be used in both a contraction and as a possessive pronoun. You wouldn't see that confusion with the pronoun "he" since its possessive form is "his"--an entirely different word. The omission of the apostrophe in the possessive form of it is just a nice, although understandably confusing, way of differentiating between the two words.

I can see why some have problems with apostrophes. It's an aspect of grammar that you learn so long ago that it just feels increasingly irrelevant the older you get. On the whole, though, I'd say most people don't really have a problem with them. I think many issues with apostrophes may come from simple proofreading mistakes, but I can only posit this as a theory so far.

Then again, this site may suggest otherwise.

Exclamation Point - Is there a place for you anymore?

Recently, I was told that I use too many exclamation points in my emails. Pssh.

It is an email. Who cares?

But then the author of the email, my grandma of the punctuation police, told me that it appears as if I am shouting at her when I use it.

!!!

Well, first of all there is some truth in that because my grandma is 87 years old and I do shout when talking to her. But I have to admit that shouting was not my intended tone. Instead, I wanted to convey how excited I was to be having lunch with her that day.

This is what my sentence looked like: "Grandma, today is going to be great! I'll meet you at Monicals at about 11. Save a spot for me?!!! Violet has been super cranky, and I can't seem to get moving on time today. Ugh!"

This is how my grandma corrected my sentence: " Grandma, today is going to be great. I will meet you at Monicals at 11. Will you save a seat for me? Violet has been cranky all morning, and I am not keeping good time today."

Then after that correction lashing, my grandma said, "Kelly. I know you are fun and sweet. I should be able to tell that with your words, not your punctuation."

And suddenly I was whiplashed viciously into grad school. All the memos that I had written, all the papers, all the emails to professors, all were heavily laden with exclamation points. It was almost like I had looked back on my life through slow motion, all this time, and no one had told me. Why no intervention? I feel that blame should be placed on everyone else for this....

So then what do you do when you realize that you have a problem and need to fix it? Google. Yep. I started searching for reasons why the exclamation point is so vehemently hated, and I found the following statements:

"The exclamation point is like the horn in your car—use it only when you have to. A chorus of exclamation points says two things about your writing: First, you're not confident that what you're saying is important, so you need bells and whistles to get attention. Second, you don't know a really startling idea when you see one." (Patricia O'Connor - Woe is I)

"I can sum up the problem that most people have with the exclamation point in one short sentence: They use them. That's right. That's the problem. Most often when an exclamation point is used, it is unnecessary. In an academic paper, exclamation points are inappropriate. In fact, in most writing, even in personal letters, one almost never needs an exclamation point. The exclamation point means that you are extremely excited and maybe even shouting. If people talked like they write, with all of the exclamation points, they'd be out of breath and have a sore throat"
(Dr. Rick Walston)

AND

Apparently F. Scott Fitzgerald likened using exclamation marks to laughing at your own jokes (guilty as charged).

Ouch. But don't worry. I did find a positive:

"The use of exclamation marks is appropriate in creative writing. Sometimes they accompany interjections (e.g., ouch, oh, wow), but most times, exclamation marks are used to convey a strong emotion or surprise. However, Even though exclamation marks are accepted in creative writing, the danger is that they can promote lazy “telling” and not vivid “showing” writing. By overusing them, authors are relying on a piece of punctuation as a shortcut for exposition" (Scribendi.com)

Even the positive comes with a warning though.

It may hurt me exponentially, but these are indeed very good points. Is the exclamation point the sign of a nervous or self-conscious writer? Maybe.

I would most definitely fit into that category, and admit that I have fought the urge to have them all over this post. I think the problem I have and maybe other writers have is that we wonder if the correct emotion is conveyed without the use of the exclamation point.

Can my reader understand how important the phrase I'm writing is without the EP? Or how happy I am to be writing to them? I think that, "Hi! How are you!?" is perfectly fine. To me, it reflects the fact that I am indeed very happy to talk to the reader of my note, but in retrospect this does appear to be shouting.

I guess this is what Facebook, Twitter, and texting have done to us although my exclamation point love most definitely originated before the social networks. Alas, it is a hard habit to break, but do I have to break it?

Yes. Sigh.

Exclamation points should be used sparingly in academic writing because the words you choose to write should be strong enough to not need an exclamation point. There are instances where they are acceptable, and that decision has to be made by you. You have to remember your audience. Would I use an exclamation point in a 16 page essay regarding Peter Elbow? (well, man...yeah. Who wouldn't?) Probably not as much as I desperately want to do it.

I would be afraid that my professor wouldn't take me as seriously if I emphasized my all important point with ! UNLESS I had come up with something so ground breaking and so amazing that I decided this one time, this one perfect time, this serendipitous place where my point is going to be absolutely off the charts remarkable is perfectly suited for the EP. Perhaps a sentence like this, "I have found the lost island of Atlantis!"

Now that I know that I have a problem will I stop using the EP so much?

Yes, grumble grumble. I'm even going to go as far as to try and stop using it in my Facebook status updates and my texts. Will people still understand my excitement?

Probably. At least I hope so.

The first step is admitting you have a problem. Anyone else ready to put that life of exclamation points behind you?

My name is Kelly, and I'm addicted to Exclamation Points.

Shew.

Semicolons-Which Side Are You On?

What is something that you love to hate? I love to hate spiders. Absolutely love to hate them and frequently dream of ridding the world of them. All you Charlotte lovers out there can just be quiet.

Here's something else I love to hate: semicolons. What did a semicolon ever do to me? Well, first of all it can't decide how it wants to be spelled. Is it semicolon or semi-colon? Pick one, own it, and be it. Why be so two-sided?

Actually the true reason that I hate semicolons is that I have never quite understood how to use them and do so on mad punctuation whims. Not smart. I used one on of of those silly whims in a class last semester--resulting in spectacular failure. My professor, who is most beloved and kind, gently told me, "There are seven people in this country who know how to use semicolons, and you are not one of them." Boo-yah!

I could have chosen to run and hide from this particular semicolonic episode, but instead I have become a teeny bit intrigued about the use and reason for this type of punctuation. I have been doing some sleuthing, talking to professors in the English Department, observing students in the writing center, and have managed to gather a bit of information that I am dying to share with you--and also get off of my chest because this is some serious baggage! Who knew semicolons were so controversial?

It seems that people either love or hate semicolons. There is absolutely no middle ground. Kurt Vonnegut, a famous author, has been noted as saying (rather flagrantly and I'm gonna leave out some words because they're a bit on the risky side), "Do not use semicolons. They are (bleep bleep) representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college.”

On the flip side of that in your face statement is the opinion of the President of EIU Bill Perry. President Perry, in the fourth part of an interview EIU Writes did with him last year, claims that the semicolon is his favorite punctuation mark.

So how exactly does one go about using a semicolon? Here is what the Purdue OWL tells me:

You can use a semi-colon to join two independent clauses. Joining two independent clauses this way implies that the two clauses are related and/or equal, or perhaps that one restates the other (see example below).

•Braveheart was definitely my favorite movie during the 1990s; in fact, it is my favorite movie of all time.

Use semi-colons between items in a list that already involve commas (example shown below).

•The sweaters I bought today were purple, blue, and green; yellow, white, and red; and pink, black, and grey.

The EIU Writing Center Webpage has a section entitled resources for writers with all sorts of excellent information. What else is on there?

A Punctuation Pattern Sheet (I really wish it said paper! Punctuation Pattern Paper, sigh I need that alliteration to continue) that gives more examples of semicolon use. If you click on this, Punctuation Pattern Sheet, you will link right to it!

Another of my most favorite professors, to remain nameless because the coolness level is already at 100% and I don't know if it can go any higher, says, "Writers should use semicolons sparingly since a writer's go-to sentence construction should be compound, complex, and compound-complex sentences. However, I enjoy the use of a semicolon when a writer connects balanced (in length) independent clauses that work together logically."

In the Writing Center we see all sorts of semicolon usage, and generally the students will tell us that they used it because it might impress their professor. This is when I say, "Don't do it!" A professor is more impressed when you have two strong sentences, not two combined kinda strong sentences.

In my opinion, one should use semicolons sparingly. This could be my experience talking, or it could be that they are unnecessary. Why not instead go with the dash? It's all personal preference and if you prefer the semicolon--make sure you really understand it before you use it. There is nothing worse than trying to appear smart to a professor and instead sinking into semicolon despair.

Love them or hate them the semicolon doesn't seem to be going anywhere anytime soon, perhaps it is time that I get over my fear and embrace them. How about you?

Put into a Comma after Punctuation-palooza

So you have this bundle of assignments that you got done two weeks ahead of finals because you're an especially responsible student who enjoys a relatively stress-free conclusion to his/her semester. First of all, bite me. Second of all, good for you. Although now you're probably getting anxious; none of your professors accept early assignments because they have "other things to work on" before they receive the torrent of papers and accompanying papercuts that arrive just before holiday break. What to do, what to do.

Here's a crazy idea: go back over them. Now I know it's painful to go back and look at old work (I have a whole folder of assignments on my computer that I refuse to open because I'm sure it'll send me into shock), but you haven't turned in your assignment yet. Basically, you're not quite done yet. That compare/contrast paper you did on the political associations of Fox News and MSNBC? You know, the one you knocked off in a couple hours so you could go see the new Twilight at midnight because your friends are fans of the series but you never saw one before because you read high-brow stuff like David Sedaris and frequent McSweeney's? Welp, you might just want to glance over it one more time.

MSNBC has Rachel Maddow, Andrea Mitchell, and Chris Matthews.

Fox News features Bill O'Reilly, Shepard Smith and Greta Van Susteren.

Look hard. There is a difference between those two sentence, one that goes beyond the content. I'll give you a hint. It's not the periods. Give up? It's the commas. You use them in a series. While in the first series you use one before the "and," you didn't put one before the "and" in the second one. Now, it's my understanding that either is acceptable but here's a word of advice: consistency. You want to keep the stylistic choices you make consistent or someone's going to take them for mistakes as opposed to a decision of style.

Commas are a weakness, you say? Let's change that. Let's make them a strength.

Oh, here's another spot.

Fox News personalities tend to sit on the right-wing of politics; conversely many MSNBC personalities sit on the left-wing.

Astute observation. Bravo on the semi-colon. But you forgot something. It's not the--

Yeah, it's the comma. Or rather, the lack thereof. Any idea where you might jam that comma?

Fox News personalities tend, to sit on the right-wing of politics; conversely many MSNBC personalities sit on the left-wing.

NOPE. Try again.

Fox News personalities tend to sit on the right-wing of politics; conversely, many MSNBC personalities sit on the left-wing.

Huzzah! Right after the transition! Bravo. One more spot.

Keith Olberman was once on MSNBC, but has since left.

Now let's--okay, so you're getting it now. Commas. Solid. But what do you think the issue is with this comma? Still nothing? Try reading after the comma and conjuction:

has since left.

Who has since left? What has since left? What did you do with that subject?! By jamming that comma before the phrase you created a compound sentence out of a sentence and a fragment--a union that should never be.

Now there are some other spots in that paper where you made similar mistakes with commas.

Eliminate them.

From the Comma Police to the Judge's Sentence

If you'll recall Gina's Radiohead homage/how to on introductory clauses and comma use, you'll remember that commas are used both after introductory phrases and when introducing someone. But you may be shocked to learn that commas have a few other uses that might just blow your mind. You may also note that the title of this post was a poorly-constructed attempt to do her post homage, but please forgive me. Parody is not my strong suit.

Commas (or as some confused people call them, "comas") are often thrown in by budding writers when they think a natural pause appears. It's like they want to mark a spot where the reader can take a breath if reading out loud. While it's certainly kind of them, it's unnecessary.

You may be asking, "Doug, can I use my commas in my cooking?"

"No," I answer, though I am interested in seeing you try.

You then ask, "Can I use them to stick together pieces of paper?"

"Not quite," I respond, "but you're getting closer."

Before you can even get a word out, however, I excitedly shout the answer, "YOU CAN PUT SENTENCES TOGETHER WITH THEM!!!" While you're recovering from my outburst, allow me to explain.

Compound sentences are essentially combinations of two sentences slapped together. One of the ways you can do so is with a comma and a connector. For example:

I lost the bet, so now I have to wear a dress.

The first sentence here is "I lost the bet," while the second one is "now I have to wear a dress." You'll notice there is also a "so" there. What of this "so"? It's our connector, a coordinating conjunction like for, and, nor, but, or, and yet. Add the "so" on the end there and you'll remember the words easily: "FANBOYS."

Now you're telling me, "But Doug, I know this already. It's kids stuff."

Slow down there, sport. I got something else to tell you. There's another way you can paste two sentences together and it's with a little something I (and most people) like to call a semi-colon. You've probably seen it before; you might see it in this sentence here. You'll recognize it as the little brother to the colon, like a colon with a tail, but truthfully the two punctuation marks are functionally dissimilar. Let's look at our earlier compound sentence:

I lost the bet; now I have to wear a dress.

It looks a little cleaner, doesn't it? No comma, but also no connector. Don't let the cleanliness fool you, however. If you use a semicolon too much, you may get semicolon-happy. Some people want to use a semicolon when they actually want to use a comma. Our EIU Writing Center Punctuation Pattern Sheet notes that it's "most effective when used sparingly." Too many semicolons can make your paper semigood.

It's important to remember that, though the semicolon looks like a comma with a great idea, they're not perfectly interchangeable. Think of the dot in the semicolon as compensating for the missing connector; if you don't have the dot, all you have is a comma. And then you just look ridiculous.

Goodbye October (Punctuation Month)

Although I haven't made any formal announcement, October was punctuation month. I blogged about punctuation every Friday during October. I secretly celebrated with all of the commas and the colons. Now it's over and Punctuation Month will go out with a bang (or will it).

Parentheticals! Life is filled with them. Snooty remarks would be nowhere without them (that's what you think). Who else gives a voice to the things that we say under our breath? Only parentheses can do that!

Parentheses have several uses. Here are a few:

-Use parentheses to enclose numbers or letters in a series.
ex: In order to make pumpkin pie, you need (1) pumpkin and (2) pie

-Use parentheses to enclose supplemental information
ex: For the last eighteen years (almost nineteen) he's slept with a teddy bear.

-Use parentheses to indicate the possibility of singular or plural nouns
ex: If anyone has information about the person(s) in charge, please call 1-800-WHOWORKSHERE

-Use parentheses to indicate an acronym
ex: We were so happy to become members of MEMBERS (Members Every Moment Because Everyone's Really Saving)

-Use parentheses to enclose dates
ex:My undergraduate career (1970- ) will last forever as long as Domino's still has large pizzas for $5.

-Use parentheses to enclose citation
ex: I heard someone say "If you die on the elevator, be sure to push the UP button" (Levenson).

Thank you for joining us during Punctuation Month. Be sure to stay tuned next month for more categorized fun!!

The Almighty Apostrophe

The has apostrophe three uses:
1. to form possessive nouns
2. to show the omission of letters
3. to indicate certain plurals of lowercase letters


1. Here are some ways to form possessive nouns:

-Add 's to the singular form of the word, even if it ends in s.

ex: Hidalgo's hips weren't as strong as they used to be.
ex: James's sarsaparilla went stale on Saturday.

-Add s to plural forms that do not end in s
ex: The geese's knees were put on backwards.

-Add ' to the end plural form of nouns that end in s
ex: Three friends' scooters were all broken.

-Add 's to the end of compound words
ex: My step-mother's shoes mysteriously disappeared.

-Add 's to the last noun to show possession of an object
ex: Hank and Didley's Hamburger Helper tasted funky.

2. Showing omission of letters

-Contractions are common in giving birth and in informal writing.

Here are some ex's (examples):

don't = do not
I'm = I am
he'll = he will
who's = who is
shouldn't = should not
didn't = did not
could've= could have (NOT "could of"!)
'60 = 1960


3. To indicate plurals of lowercase letters

If your name is Philip, and somebody accidentally wrote it Phillip, you must say: "You wrote my name with two l's instead of one l."



http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/621/01/

Colon Cleansing

The truth about the colon is hard to grasp. In order to get acquainted with the colon, you first have to know the basics. Sometimes a person can invite a colon over and the situation gets awkward. You really didn't know what you were getting in to. You just thought that the colon looked nice today, and now you're stuck with this thing in the middle of your sentence that you're not sure what to do with. Is it the right time? Maybe the colon isn't what you thought it was. Here is some basic information about the colon so that next time you see those sideways headlights you will be prepared:

1. Use the colon after a complete sentence to introduce a list of items when introductory words such as for example, such as, or namely do not appear. Think of the colon as a gate.

example: I want the following items: peas, a puppy, and knowledge of colons.


2. Use the colon after an independent clause when introducing a quotation.

example: My grocer's remark about me was complimentary: "She's here all the time. She always buys lots of q-tips and doughnuts....every time... q-tips and doughnuts."

3. Use a colon between two independent clauses when you want to emphasize the second clause.

example: I don't understand why anyone shops at that store: the grocers always stare awkwardly at people.


NOTE: There are some similar situations where a colon wouldn't fit. You would not put a colon after the verb in the sentence, since the phrase that precedes the colon must be an independent clause. You would not include a colon in sentences such as the following:

Her favorite food was chocolate ice cream.
His recipe included fish, peanut butter, and ham-flakes.

Since these sentences include words like included and was, and "Her favorite food was" is not an independent clause, there is no colon necessary.

Now that you know a couple of uses of the colon, you can use it with style and confidence!

You can also use it to make that gate.

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