Strengthening Sentences: Good Repetition, Bad Repetition

All the fancy folks who get paid to play elaborate hoaxes on folks in the name of neurological science have told us time and time again that repetition is key to learning.  Neural pathways are dug deeper and deeper, allowing the brain to access them more quickly.  Et cetera, et cetera.

So why do composition teachers rail on repetition within writing?  If it's something that is truly helpful to a reader, why are points being deducted?  There's a very good reason for that, dear reader (sheesh, now I sound like a Victorian novel).  You ready for this?

It's not.  Repetition is good.  Redundancy, however, isn't.  So what's the flipping difference?

Repetition is repeating an element or elements within your writing to emphasize their meaning within the text. The information (or word) is repeated to cast information in a new light, add rhetorical emphasis, or draw connections within the larger scope of the work.  Redundancy occurs when these repetitions have no meaning, when you're simply "spinning your wheels" rather than expanding, emphasizing, or connecting pieces of an argument.

Culprit numero uno?  Word counts.  When you start purposefully stretching out your argument to fill pages, you're almost certain to repeat yourself ... and not in a good way, either.  Let's take a look at some examples, shall we?

Winston Churchill was known for being one sharp public speaker (as well as a complete drunkard), and one of his most famous speeches includes a little bit that goes something like this:

We shall go on to the end, we shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our Island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender ...

The repetition of the phrase "we shall fight" is purposeful.  It reinforces the idea behind the speech -- no quarter, no surrender.  The rallying cry reinforces the strength of the message, giving it a poignancy that would have been lost had he gone synonym happy.  Can you imagine how a "thesaurused" version of that speech would sound?

We shall go on to the end, we shall fight in France, there shall be an altercation on the seas and oceans, we shall rumble with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our Island, whatever the cost may be, we shall scrap on the beaches, we shall make a ruckus on the landing grounds, we shall quarrel in the fields and in the streets, we shall scuffle in the hills; we shall never surrender ...

Not exactly the kind of thing that goes down in history.  But hey, JFK got away with calling himself a jelly doughnut.  Maybe Churchill would have been remembered for his scrappy beaches and hilly scuffles.

Now that we've looked at some powerful rhetorical repetition, let's take a look at some redundancy.  This is a terrible sentence overall, but the redundancy is especially noticeable:

Corporations in today's society drain American families dry by forcing them to spend all their money through inflation of prices and unfair costs that most people can't afford.


First off, this sentence could probably be cut down into just a few words: "Corporate inflation drains many Americans dry."  If you can make such a drastic cut to a sentence without altering its meaning, then you're likely dealing with redundancy.  Contrarily, Churchill's speech technically been cut down to fewer words, but it would not have had the same impact.  Just saying, "We'll fight them no matter where they show up," is effective, but forgettable.  And the fact that such a cut negatively impacts the writing is an indication of effective repetition.

So what's an aspiring student to do?

First off, put your thesaurus away.  It can be a useful tool, but don't feel like every single iteration of your main point needs to use a different synonym.  Sometimes synonyms carry different connotations, which will subtly change the meaning of what you're saying.  Thin, slender, and skinny are not the same thing.  All of them will be clustered together in a thesaurus, but the subtext behind them is vastly different.

Instead, ask yourself why you're repeating these elements.  Sometimes you'll find that there really is no better word to accurately depict what you're saying.  Using the word "corporation" a dozen times in your paper may not be a bad thing -- a corporation is a corporation.  If you're repeating crap because you need to fill another page and a half, then you've got a completely different set of problems to worry about.

Concise Papers: The Key to College Writing

Although college writing assignments are diverse, most professors and professionals appreciate concision. There are many ways to make sure that a paper is concise and to the point. Whenever editing a paper, checking for word repetitions and redundant phrases is a good place to start. By focusing on cohesion, your paper can be more persuasive and elegant instead of wordy and cluttered.

Wordy sentences might occur mostly during the first drafts because you’re trying to get your ideas on the page. For example, Jackie might repeat “painting” throughout her paper instead of explaining the art piece in detail. And Michelle who’s writing a lab report might repeat “experiment” in her drafts. In an English class, Megan might use “author” too often and neglect using the writer’s last name to switch up word choices.

Here’s an example:

"In the piece of art, the painter creates a gloomy feeling by using different colors. Blending the colors together makes the viewer of the art feel very gloomy. The colors are a mixture of black and white with some gray that give off the gloomy feeling that the painter is trying to show throughout his/her piece."

In this example, the writer of this paragraph uses gloomy three times, as well as the repetition of the word color. If the author of the paragraph wants the paragraph to read smoothly, she’ll need to cut repetitive words to appear more concise.

Redundant phrases can also be a problem when referencing similar information throughout a paper. Phrases such as “passive kind of behavior,” blue in color,” as well as “advance planning” are a few examples of how information presented in a sentence is stating the same information in different ways.

Repetitive information and redundant phrasing are only a few red flags to look for when trying to make your paper more concise. One strategy to help pull away from redundant phrasing and word repetition is simply reading your paper aloud. Reading your paper aloud can help you catch these glitches and also make sure you’re presenting clear and concise information.

Going through your paper backwards sentence by sentence can also help catch awkward phrasing and redundant word usage. Starting from the bottom of your paper, read each sentence from beginning to end like normal. Doing this takes each sentence out of context and helps concentrate on the wording of every sentence.

Making a paper more concise can not only help you become a better writer, but doing so also helps the reader understand your main points.