Elegant Solutions for Mythical Fussbudgetry

Close to a year ago I wrote at length about three instances of grammatical "rules" I describe as "mythical fussbudgetry":

• Myth 1: Don't Start Sentences with Ands or Buts
• Myth 2: Don't End Sentences with Prepositions
• Myth 3: Don't Use They as a Singular Pronoun

Today in The Chronicle of Higher Education, Anne Curzan addresses Myth 3 with her blog post "Singular 'They': A Footnote."

Curzan offers a solid solution for people who want to use they as a singular pronoun: "I tell students that they are welcome to use singular they  in writing for my class, but they should footnote it the first time they use it and in the footnote explain their rationale for using singular they. And students do, both in my class and in other classes (for other classes, I tell them they’re allowed to end the footnote with an invitation for the instructor to contact me with any questions). This footnote accomplishes at least three things: It shows readers that the author is consciously making a choice to use singular they; it informs readers about legitimate reasons for using singular they, even if they disagree with its use in this context; and most importantly, it asks students to be careful, self-conscious writers, reflecting on and explaining their choices in their writing."

Curzan's proposal reminds me of a recommendation from one of my mentors in graduate school, Dr. Ralph F. Voss. In class one day, he told us that if students want to create intentional fragments in their papers for whatever reason, to indicate they did this consciously, students can just put "fi" in parentheses after the intentional fragment (like in a citation system), which stands for "fragment intended."

If you're someone like me who wants to get rid of the silly "rules" above, you and your students can use footnotes to signal these word choices and constructions were conscious choices.

Elegant solutions from Voss and Curzan (fi). 

Fragment Rock!

Do you remember the old TV show Fraggle Rock? I do, with longing and regret. All of my friends were talking about how great that show was and how if you were anyone of importance you were watching it as well. Alas, I lived in the country in the early 80s. I had three channels on my TV.

Three Channels.

In order to get the extremely desired and elusive fourth channel that Fraggle Rock was aired on, I had to stand and wiggle the dial, and my little sister had to stand in front of the TV and shake about as if in a frantic seizure. It was work, but it was worth it because once in awhile we would get little glimmers of Fraggle Rock.

Glimmers enough to know that something cool was going on, but sadly not enough to be able to talk about it at school and appear as one of the “cool” people. You see what we heard were little things like this, “Because the cat” or “After the party." What? We were struck with fragmented Fraggles, and it was a damn shame.

I couldn’t help but think of my sister and I and our frantic fraggle viewing this week when I met with a student who was really struggling with sentence fragments. The simple definition of the sentence fragment is that it’s just an incomplete sentence. The big fancy grammar definition is that a sentence fragment is a piece of a sentence that has become separated from the main clause. I went with the easy definition and then gave her some examples like:

 If he runs.
 When it rains.
 Jump all around.
 After the movie begins.

She was super smart and caught on pretty fast. We worked through some sentences that she had written and revised the heck out of those fragments, and here is an example of our before and after:

Original – I like Hot Tamales. Because they are intense!
Corrected – I like Hot Tamales because they are intense!

Easy, right?

It was then that she hit me with a question that made me nervous, “Is it ever ok to use sentence fragments?” I looked at her and said, “Yes, but don’t tell anyone I said that. This conversation doesn’t leave the Writing Center.”

Sentence Fragments are loved or hated; it doesn’t seem as if there is much of a middle ground with them. People who like them use them all of the time. I have already used several in this post!

I find that I write sentence fragments quite frequently but not in the “If he runs” style of fragmenting. In my writing I use fragments to prove a point, be funny, or just emphasize the fact that my mind is in fact in its own fragmented state of thought.

In the article “About Those Sentence Fragments” by C.T. Shades, sentence fragments are joyfully uplifted and defended. Shades says that fragments are ok because, “our thinking almost all occurs by way of the sentence fragment route, and almost never, if ever, by route of a complete sentence” (1223). Shades also writes that “effective writing often contains many sentence fragments…” (1233). So how do you know when to use one? When is it ok? I think the answers to these questions greatly depend on the intended audience and topic of your paper.

I use them when I feel that my point needs a bit of emphasis. Now some scholars will argue that a sentence fragment is a sentence that needs to be developed, and you know that is a point that is hard to argue. However, sometimes three little words is all you need to prove a point. You just have to make sure they are the right ones, but that's a whole 'nother blog post.

Does this mean that you should be out there writing papers with all sorts of incomplete sentences and weird three word phrases? No. That would be sad. So, instead wait until you have mastered writing the “cool” version of a fragment and try to steer clear of them or perhaps instead ease into them.

Still having problems? Here are some ways you can help yourself to catch those sentence fragments:

Read your paper out loud one sentence at a time. After each sentence ask
yourself if the sentence has a subject, verb, and shows a complete thought.

Try starting at the end of the paper and read each sentence in reverse
order. Although this sounds strange, it is a method that really works! This
will help you to focus on each sentence individually and make it easier to
notice if it is missing anything important.

You can also mosey on down to the writing center and ask for some help. We have a handy dandy brown handout that includes some of the information I have listed, and it also goes into greater detail about the sentence fragment.

Don’t be like my sister and me! Don’t leave your professor feeling as if he’s not one of the cool kids when he just can't "get" your incomplete sentences. Save those fragments for perfect moments.

Like this one.

BrbAfkLolBbq - A Modest Proposal

For the majority of readers with cell phones and texting plans or voracious instant messaging habits, those letters look familiar to you. All too familiar. They're all shorthand--quick and to the point. Going to be away for a bit? "Be right back"--"brb." Away for longer? "Away from keyboard." Want to eat barbecue? "Bbq."

In the last few years, text messaging has risen from small trend to full-blown epidemic. The language has become such a central part to what we write that it's usurped our formal written language. In some papers, people type "2" instead of "to." The worst part is, even if they proofread carefully, they may not find the error for the simple fact that they don't see it an error. They use it in their everyday language, so what's the problem?

Unfortunately, instructors haven't gotten the memo that textspeak is okay, nor have some of us who were late to the texting game. Though I shudder to think of a world in which textspeak is like a macabre form of newspeak, we can fight the possibility of this. Now here's what I propose:

Stop using textspeak.

I'm not saying don't text any more. Text to your heart's desire! But try it just once--a text message in which you eliminate the numbers for letters and grossly-used shorthand. While it is just a bit more time consuming, newer phones are designed with auto-correct and similar technologies that do not allow you to use shorthand unless it's programmed in. And honestly, it may be difficult to do at first. So try it little by little. Drop your shorthand. Try a full sentence just once! Maybe, just maybe, you'll find you like using full words.

Ttyl.

Slippery Punctuation and an Ostrich

(Take a deep breath........Read!)

Sometimes it’s hard to tell where to place a period because it seems as though all of the thoughts sort of run together due to the fact that I am writing one thought after the other and these thoughts just seem to be trickling out of my head without pause so where should I put this period at, I don’t know? Oops, it didn’t even turn out to be a period, it was a question mark, but I thought that the beginning of the sentence should have had a period and then it took a turn in another direction and all of the sudden: BAM: there’s a question mark and what am I supposed to do about it? Oh, no! Another one! And exclamation points! I can find where to put this period maybe I could put it in my sock drawer so that when it’ll never get out and I’ll know just where it is at all times but then what if it sneaks away? It did it again! I want all of my sentences to mold together into one giant sentence that lasts three pages long so that the reader can never take a breath and their face will turn blue and they might even fall over because I couldn’t find my period it wasn’t where I left it oh, there it is.

NOTE: This run-on sentence was not picked up by Microsoft Word.

NOTE: Run-on sentences are also called fused-sentences

What is a run-on sentence?

A fused sentence, or a run-on sentence occurs when two main clauses are connected without punctuation. Comma splices fall under the same category because they are sentences that aren't punctuated correctly. If you see that your sentence runs on for three or more lines, or if you have a hard time reading it without turning blue in the face, then consider revising it. If your sentence seems like a question and a statement, consider separating it into both with the proper punctuation. Remember, the most important thing in all of this is that what you are trying to say comes across as clearly as possible. Other times you will find that you have an incomplete sentence. The best place to find the rest of it is on either side of the period or punctuation. This is where it usually hides, like an ostrich with its head in the sand.

"Hey, Larry, is it safe yet?"
"What?"